Life's Complicated
by cullencutie747
Summary: Bella is broken and hurt by the departure of the Cullen’s and is changed by Victoria. Alice cant see Bella in any of her visions so she sends Jasper to look for her. Will he find true love as well?
1. Chapter 1

**I know what you are thinking…. Another new one? Well I had a burst of inspiration so I decided to write instead of doing my homework. I'm in trouble now….**

**I will try to update my other story as well but I'm addicted to Bella/Jasper stories right now and its so easy to get side-tracked and start reading other peoples awesome stories… if you have read any good Bella/Jasper tell me, I want to read them. Since I love Jasper so much I have decided to write one. So here goes…. **

**P.S I do not own Twilight or anything to do with it…**

Chapter 1: 

B.P.O.V:

_He didn't want me_. The thought hit me hard and I choked back the sobs that threatened to spill over, the tears rolled down my face and onto the damp pillow.

_He didn't love me_. My heart wrenched open clutching my chest in pure pain, my body was shattered, broken. My heart was gone and he took my soul leaving me empty.

_I was only a distraction_. I should have known he would leave me, I wasn't good enough for him. I never was and I never will be.

_He wasn't coming back. _The whole family had abandoned me that's not what family do. Where were they now? When I needed them most, they had gone.

_It will be as if he never existed_. I would never get over him, he was part of me. Even though he would never love me back I would always love him.

I grounded my teeth against the oncoming waves of pain, I felt like screaming in agony but I opened my mouth and nothing except for a groan of pain came out. I hugged my abdomen tighter, burying my face into the blankets. I had tried many methods to shut out the pain but it was impossible, it wouldn't go away. The constant ach reminded me of him and how much I missed him. Sometimes I welcomed it, I knew I deserved it.

I remember his beautiful face, his seductive scent and his cold hard skin, his muscular arms closed around me, his deep topaz eyes and his velvet voice. The memories would stay with me and haunt me for the rest of my miserable life.

My whole body shook with sobs as I thought about each of them.

Carlisle and his compassion.

Esme and her loving kind nature.

Emmett and his carefree personality.

Rosalie and her obsession over herself.

Alice and her love for shopping and spending as much money as she possibly could.

Jasper and his… well I didn't know much about Jasper.

I don't think he liked me very much. But now I look back he was always there, watching on the sidelines. He didn't participate in the activity or the conversation but he was normally quietly standing next to Alice. I bet if he had his own way he would be on the other side of the continent but he stayed for Alice's approval. I didn't blame him for anything that happened at the birthday party, it was natural for him to react like that. I guess that's when Edward came to realise that there was no reason to keep pretending anymore.

I wiped away the tears and tried to steady my breathing a little. I had to get some rest, Charlie was beginning to worry about me. He was considering making me go back with mom. The lines painted underneath my eyes betrayed my sleepless nights.

I sighed and turned restlessly over onto my other side.

I had always been lucky, I had a nice mother and a caring father, I always got everything I asked for, I had friends and people that would support me even though I couldn't see why. But just this once, when I wanted something more than anything, it had gone. I no longer had him with me and that one disappearing need sent my whole life into chaos, a complete state of disorder and confusion.

I squeezed my eyes shut as the tears started to flow again. I had tried not to cry myself to sleep over the past few months, I couldn't handle the images flashing through my mind when-ever my eyes closed, or the dreams more like nightmares really. They were always the same, I always woke up crying his name over and over begging for him to return to me.

I was so selfish, he had moved on and I was still holding myself back. I still thought of him as mine. That was a complete lie.

I had been stupid to not see that he never loved me. How could someone like him love someone like me. It was wrong, he was the perfection of perfect, the very meaning of the word flawless. I was blinded by the feelings I had for him but the fog in my mind had cleared and all was understandable. I would never be his equal, he would always treat me as an inferior, a child. He had been to protective over me, thinking I could not look after myself. Well I could, I had been for the last 17 years of my life.

It shocked me that I was thinking of him in this way, I was putting him down, I thought about all the negative things that had occurred when I was with him.

Before long my eyes started dropping and my breathing slowed down to an even pace. The last thing I felt was a great wave of sadness before I fell unconscious.

**Well what do you think…**

**Sorry this chapter was very short and uneventful but you will understand latter ****JJJ **


	2. Important!

**All writing it going to be on hold. Production has stopped, I just don't have enough time to write anymore but I promise I will update next holidays.**

**I have been trying to write but I just cant, I get really stressed when I have to write under pressure, I am falling behind on the homework and I fell really tired all the time. **

**I'm just to busy but please stay with me and keep reading.**

**Thanks to everyone that reads, I love you guys.**

**Love Elisha Rose**


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